Am I ready for sex?

Having sex for the first time can be complicated. It can lead to pregnancy, and if your partner has HIV or an STD (and you might not always know they do), you can become infected too. There can also be emotional consequences to having sex with someone – it can really change a relationship, and not always for the better. Sex is enjoyable with the right person, but it’s very easy to make mistakes and end up hurt, which is why people advise you: "don’t have sex until you’re ready!"
But when you are ready and with a person that you really like, it’s a very nice and a normal feeling that you want to be physically close to this person. And after kissing for a while it might feel good to take it a step further.

Foreplay

I know what you're thinking. Foreplay. I know how to do that. But there's always something, somewhere you can learn. Are you aware of the importance of teasing?

Why Foreplay?
Generally guys tend to want to skip the foreplay to get straight to intercourse. If, for instance, you're a guy and you try to do that, you might have physical problems. When you get aroused, the genitals will enlarge and produce natural lubricant. If not, penetration will be difficult and uncomfortable.
On top of all this, there is the emotional readiness. If you try to go straight from watching football to intercourse, you'll probably fail. Women, but most men too, like a lot of talking, mood setting and tenderness before sex. This gets your minds (the most important sexual organ, as it is often said) ready as well as your bodies.
There's a million different ways you can foreplay. Here we'll give you some basic ideas, but invent your own. Let your imagination run wild.
 Talking / seduction
Chances are that sex will begin with some kind of conversation. You can discuss the things you like about each other, about what you'd like to do, or discuss some fantasy you could have together
 Kissing Never underestimate the power of the kiss. A deep, passionate kiss can work wonders for blood flow. And deep doesn't have to mean deep tonguing, just deep and passionate.
 Tickling
 Massaging

Probably the best way to lead from foreplay to sex. Give your partner a long, soothing, gentle, all over body massage and you'll both be yearning for sex.
 Teasing
Sometimes a quickie can be great, but generally, the more time you spend for the forplay, teasing, and not touching any genital area, the more fantastic the sex will be. foreplay, kiss, caress, massage

Sex

When you are both aroused and ready to have sex it is important to think about safe sex and to put a condom. As well as with penetration as with oral sex you must remember to do it safe!

Oral sex consists of all sexual activities that involve the use of the mouth, which may include use of the tongue, teeth, and throat, to stimulate genitalia. Oral sex can be used as a way of foreplay before the ‘actual deed’, or as a nice massage in order to get an orgasme.

Penetration is the entering of the penis inside the vagina, and this is what we call the actual deed; sex. When the penis is inside, one or both partners move their bodies and genitals untill they reach an orgasme. During the sex it is very nice to keep kissing and caressing each other. When reaching an orgasme it might feel like your body and mind are about to explode, and you will feel very nice.

After sex

After the orgasme it is normal and very nice to keep kissing and carresing each other, the genitals and other parts of the body are still very sensitive. It is also nice to hug and talk after sex, you can talk about the pleasant things he or she did to you and if you feel shy or insecure after having sex, this will help you both to feel happy and relaxed.

Ready?

But before starting, it is good to ask yourself some questions. The questions here bellow might be important to ask yourself.
1) Are you doing this because YOU want to?
Do any of the following sound familiar? -
• “You would if you loved me!”
• “It’s only natural!”
• “Everyone else is doing it!”
• “Don’t you want to make our relationship stronger?”
• “You’ll have to do it sometime – why not now, with me?”
• “I'll be gentle, and it'll be really great, I promise!”
• “I'll only put it in for a second...”
• Yeah, I’ve had sex loads of times. . . ”
• “You’re a virgin, you wouldn’t understand. . . ”
• “No-one’ll be interested in you if they hear you’re frigid.”
• “It's amazing - you don't know what you're missing!”
If you're hearing things like this, then you should think carefully! These are not the right reasons to have sex. A partner who’s saying things like this is trying to put pressure on you and doesn’t really care whether you’re ready or not – this person doesn’t respect your feelings, and they’re probably not the right person to have sex with.
Nor should you have sex just because your friends are saying things like :
• “You mean you’ve never done it?!?”
• “I lost it when I was twelve. . .”
2) Do I know my partner well enough?
Sex can leave you feeling very vulnerable afterwards in a way you might not be prepared for. It is very intimate so it’s better to be with someone that you know is likely to be sticking around. Usually, you’ll have better sex with someone you know really well, are comfortable with, and who you can talk to openly about relationships and feelings. Sex will be best with someone you love.
3) Do I know enough about sex?
Do you know what happens during sex? Do you know how it works, what it's for and how and why a woman can get pregnant? Do you know about sexually transmitted infections? Sex also implies responsibility of both partners.
It’s really important that you know how to protect against pregnancy, STIs and HIV. Again, this is something you need to talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about before the event, so you’re both okay about what you’re going to use.
Especially with things like condoms, it’s good to have a bit of practise putting them on, and to feel okay about doing it – it’s not enough just to get a condom if you’re not confident enough to use it – they’re no good if they stay in your pocket the whole time!
4) Do I feel comfortable enough with my partner to do this and to do it sober?
If you think you’ll have to drink a lot of alcohol before you do it so you feel relaxed enough, or you only find yourself thinking about having sex when you’re drunk, then that suggests you’re not ready. A lot of people lose their virginity when they’re drunk or on drugs, and then regret it. So if you’re worried that you’re going to be in a situation where you might be tempted to do something you wouldn’t do normally, restrict your drinking, keep off the drugs, or make sure you stick with a sober friend who can look after you!
5) Can I talk to my partner about this easily?
If you can’t talk about sex, then you’re not ready to have sex. It’s as simple as that. Being honest about how you’re feeling will make it easier for both of you, and will make sex better in the future.
6) Do we both want to do this?
You may decide that you are ready, but it might be that your partner isn’t, even if he/she has had sexual partners before. For sex to work, you both have to be willing to do it. Don’t ever pressure anyone to have sex if they’re not sure – this is very wrong, and it’ll cost you your partner’s respect and the respect of other people.
Also - there’s a fine line between pressuring someone to have sex and forcing someone to have sex – if you put too much pressure on someone, it can become force – and if you force someone into sex, you can be prosecuted for rape.
7) Does sex fit in with my/their personal beliefs?
It may be that you, your partner or your family have beliefs that say sex at a young age (or before marriage) is wrong. Do you feel comfortable going against these views? Will it cause you unnecessary worry and guilt if you do (or don’t!)? Some young people will have sex simply because their family has banned them from doing so, even if they don't realise that this is the reason. Having sex as an act of rebellion may feel great at the time, but if anything goes wrong, you face a very difficult situation, as you may not be able to rely on your family's support.